I am by no means a health food nut. I enjoy junk food more than just about anything else. But  I also like trends. And juice cleanses are pretty trendy. So yeah…I’m currently one day into a juice cleanse. And I hate it.

I would quit except for the fact that I convinced two of my co-workers (and innocent spouses and teenage daughters) that it would be such a good thing if we all did this together. And because they trust my judgment, we all got on the juice cleanse train.

All was well and good until they jumped the gun. Their ships came in (by that I mean the special amazon prime order of aloe juice), and they started two days ahead of me. They smiled grimly as they chugged green goo whilst I munched leftover pizza on Monday (thanks, family!) And lo and behold, I didn’t want to do the cleanse anymore. I actually eat pretty healthy (at least I have for about a year), and I’m not really trying to lose weight anymore. But as I watched them bravely soldier through 6 juices (5 of them green), I knew that I had to go through with it.

It took two hours to juice everything last night. It was weirdly satisfying to demolish whole fruits and vegetable within seconds (these juices are mostly vegetables and greens), but it was a mess, and as I stared at so many mason jars in my fridge I started to feel hungry. Yes, I felt ravenously hungry before the cleanse had begun.

I made it through today. I talked myself into feeling a little dizzy during my last history class of the day, but as any hypochondriac knows you can talk yourself into feeling anything. I went for a run after school and suffered no ill effects. I have one more day tomorrow. And then I can stop, my guilt assuaged.

It’s kind of a silly thing to do, I suppose. But it’s weird stuff like this that turns your coworkers into your second family. The knowledge that my friends’ husbands were stuck swilling green sludge for two days brings us closer than ever. And three years into working with these fine women, I’m all for anything that does that.



One thought on “Cleanse

  1. After talking to you I felt all convicted and so I am doing my own modified one for this week: kale juice replacing lunch every day. Yes, I still get to eat the other meals, but I’m sure there is still some residual benefit.

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